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Nowadays, Graves doesn’t go out like she used to. “My friend would have brushed it off anyway, because it’s a really raunchy dance floor,” Graves says.
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He repeats his depravity so often that he knows how to prey on the various conditions that allow him to go unpunished-surprise, uncertainty, fear, and shame.Īnd so, after being assaulted on Cobalt’s dance floor, Jessica Graves never even mentioned the violation to her friend.
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Why didn’t these women do anything? Perhaps it’s because they were being abused by professionals. “I still get mad that I didn’t respond.…To this day, I wonder: Why didn’t I do anything?” “I remember feeling a sort of quiet desperation,” she says. I felt violated, and pissed off, but I couldn’t even muster the courage to make eye contact.” In both instances, Liz did not confront her attackers. I’ll never, ever forget that, because it’s probably the most degraded I’ve ever felt in my life. “While maintaining eye contact with me, grabbed my crotch.…I remember he smirked, and his friend laughed. “I was 14.”Ī couple of years later, Liz was groped again-this time at a concert in Philly. “I had to pry his hands off my ass to get off the train and back to my parents,” she says. As I moved toward the open doors, some middle-aged man with a Walkman grabbed me by the ass cheeks and herded me onto the train.” As the man grabbed her, Liz looked back to see her parents still waiting on the platform. “I motioned for them to get on to the next train, which had just pulled into the station. “I was in charge of navigation on the subways, because my parents are, in general, inept,” she says of her family vacation duties. Liz, who asked to be identified only by her first name, was also groped on the Metro-just feet away from where her parents were standing. “Nothing that happened to me, I know now, was an accident.” “It wasn’t until two stops later, when I shot quickly into an empty seat, did I notice that he had a full-on erection.” Later, Rinehart was able to process exactly what had gone down.
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“I didn’t know what to do or say to him,” she says. In fact, Rinehart was being accosted by a type of sexual assailant so common that the French have a word for him: frotteur, or “one who rubs.” Rinehart stood still as the man frottait. “I’ve had my share of accidental brushes on the Metro.” “I did have a moment where I thought, ‘Maybe he isn’t doing it on purpose,’” she says. “It was discreet enough that my friend, standing five feet away, never knew it happened, but it was alarmingly obvious to me.” Rinehart wasn’t eager to acknowledge that a large, drunk man was rubbing his genitals on her body in the middle of the crowded train. “I couldn’t move forward, or sideways, since I was smashed in place by the other riders on the train,” she says. Before the train left the station, the man had already begun “noticeably rubbing his front parts to my back parts,” Rinehart says. “After shuffling on to the Red Line at Gallery Place, I was sandwiched with my crotch in some poor lady’s face, and a gentleman standing slightly behind and to the right of me, who stank of alcohol,” she says. In May 2009, Rinehart was in the middle of her standard commute-a Yellow Line to Red Line switch in the direction of Silver Spring. “I wasn’t actively groped,” explains Rinehart, a 24-year-old office administrator. But she did not immediately register a physical reaction to the assault.
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Stephanie Rinehart’s grope occurred on a brightly lit Metro train, in plain view of dozens of people. And I was too stunned by the whole thing to really stop him.” Graves rejoined her friends and waited out the rest of the night inside Cobalt. But years later, Graves still remembers the look on her groper’s face: “He just had this nasty smile on his face. When it was over, Graves bolted for the bathroom in an attempt to rinse off the experience. “By the time I figured out what he was doing, I just wanted him to finish and leave.…I didn’t want anybody else to notice what was going on, because I was so embarrassed by the whole thing,” she says. “He rubbed up on me with an erection and wouldn’t back off until, as best I could tell, he had ejaculated.” Graves stayed silent as the man assaulted her. The man had developed an obvious erection. “At some point I figured out the guy was straight,” she says.